I’m Fragileswan. And this is WordPress.

Is it really that important for a bride to be a virgin? Aren’t we supposed to judge others as we would have ourselves be judged. I think it’s better that a nice girl be nice to nice people than that she be a virgin on her wedding day; I mean, given the two things are mutually exclusive, which they’re NOT!

And the Bible does not say, judge others as you would have others judge you. It does say, judge not, lest ye be judged. As you judge others, so you will be judged. By the measure you use, so it will be measured back to you.

Also, do unto others as you would have them do unto you. But most bloggers make hamburger out of the Bible!

So, why be a virgin? First, there is no such thing as male-female equality in virginity, because virginity applies only to females and consecrated-religious males. Which makes one wonder exactly why consecrated-religious males desire the attribute of virginity.

Virginity implies innocence and possible loss of it. But red-blooded American males can’t lose their innocence, because intimate relations are permissible if conception occurs. If it doesn’t occur, the sin is on the female, because she’s the one who did not conceive.

The male’s natural function is to place his intimate masculine gift into the vessel God Created for it: the virgin’s fertile-plain paradise! That’s literal interpretation of Genesis! Consequent to natural law, males suffer no sensual guilt.

The male is admired for his experience, while the female suffers guilt for sensual pleasure. OK, intimate relations—the marital act—is a genetically programmed reproductive activity. Physical attraction is a genetically programmed reproductive trait.

The male commits no sin as long as he mates females who have not already conceived. Human beings are biological class: mammalia, OR: mammals. Mammals in captivity behave like prison inmates, but the mammalian male naturally mates the female of like species, in a solitary pair, only when the female is fertile, and in a single mating act after which the female conceives offspring.

The male will not naturally mate the same female again until after she gives birth, nurses her offspring to weaning, (in the case of humans, regenerates her hymen), and she becomes fertile once more. The human female is not exempt from natural law.

If the virgin is mated only when conception occurs, she will know only the woman’s natural share in the Pain of Atonement of God The Son, while the man experiences his natural share in the Pleasure of Creation of God The Father.

The water from the virgin consecrates her marriage bed, for creation of new blessed life in her holy and chaste womb.

The blood from the virgin seals the blood covenant of marriage between God The Father, Who gave the virgin her sacred release, and sealed it safely behind her hymen; The virgin’s bridegroom, who assumes the position of conquest over the surrendered virgin (to teach her the woman’s place relative to the man) and sends his troops—an army by which the virgin shall conceive—to conquer her unexplored intimate territory; And the virgin,whose blood sacrifice of innocence atones for sin held as genetic mutation in the man’s reproductive chromosomes!

The blood and water from the virgin, as she is pierced by her bridegroom, are the temporal reflection of which the Blood and Water from the Heart of Christ, as He was pierced by the Roman soldier, are the Eternal Reality.

The virgin belongs to her bridegroom, and Jesus Belongs to Rome! People, especially divorce lawyers and priests, are under the impression that marriage is sanctioned by government and/or Mother Church. I just about blew a mouthful of chewed carrots and diet ice-water through my nostrils laughing!

Marriage is a biological function of the virgin, as can be seen above! The problem nowadays is that girls waste time the last two years of high-school that could be used to begin reproduction. Up until the 1920s, girls were married by age 16 and bore their first child by age seventeen!

Girls are at least twice as smart as boys, so they can finish high-school in half the time it takes boys! My parents forced me to go to college. I could have had five children by now if I would have married at 16, and I wouldn’t have these strange, unanswered sensations; sensations that can lead innocent girls straight into Hell!

Guys can do whatever they want, but touching herself is forbidden to the female. Sometimes I just want to ask one of the guys in the rec center if he would consider selling me his workout shirt to sleep with on my pillow! I know I could lose my soul, so I take such thoughts captive and banish them immediately!

I need to ask a Priest if it’s a mortal sin, or only venial sin to desire to sleep only with a guy’s sweaty workout shirt, but not with the guy himself. It’s suddenly so hot in here! I swear I feel the flames of Hell just by writing about it.

There’s my answer! Oops, I see a demon in my dorm! Wait, it’s my roommate just getting home from last Friday night! I held out my Rosary and my roommate sort of whimpered, “Please, Fragile, I’m shamed enough already without you pulling out all your church-approved sacramentals and holy cards!”

I said, “You were raised Catholic! What happened to your holy cards!?”

She said, “When I was in tenth-grade I brought a boy home after school. I told my Mom we were going up to my room to trade holy cards. She found us naked, so she took every Catholic item out of my room and said, ‘Go ahead and get knocked up, but you’re not bringing Jesus into it while your living under my roof!”

I said, “You depraved slut,” and held my Rosary right in front of her face!

She said, “Could I at least change my panties and put on a bra before you do that?”

“You left here without a bra!?”

“Not actually. I lost it. I looked in the bin at the frat house, but I couldn’t find one that fit.”

I said, “I can’t even imagine how a girl could lose a bra! Don’t touch me or come near me. You might not go to Hell, but you also might be in Purgatory for at least five-hundred thousand lifetimes!”

She said, “Judge not, lest ye be judged.”

“I said might! God has the final say. Think about this if you will. It’s your wedding day. Your bridegroom has brought with him his most valuable possession—his name—to give to you as a wedding gift, but you have no blood sacrifice of innocence with which to reciprocate! What will you do then!?”

“What any girl does in that situation: hyphenate my husband’s name to my father’s name. It’s equivalent to a public admission that the bride was not pure. Didn’t you know that, miss goody-goody-two-shoes!

“I won’t have that problem. But the only place left on earth’s surface for you to descend is commodity in the human-flesh market!”

“Fragile, you’re so mean! I’m gonna go kill myself now!”

“I’ll save you the trouble!”

“You’re not supposed to keep firearms in the girl’s dorm!”

“Well, as long as you’re resolved to die, it doesn’t matter really exactly how you die. You just want it to happen sooner than later.”

“I changed my mind!”

“I think you want to be happy. People say they want to die, but I bet if they were happy they wouldn’t. So, suicide threats are just code for, ‘I want to be happy.’ Do you remember how to recite your Rosary?”

“I think I need a sacramental confession.”

“No you don’t.”

“How do you know?”

“I don’t have sins to confess, but I don’t want to waste the Priest’s time, so I tell him about you and confess your sins!”

“Thanks, Fragile. No wonder I haven’t died yet! Let’s say a Rosary together.”

“It’s never too late to begin again. I’ll lead.”

I’m Fragileswan. And this has been WordPress.